Thursday, January 29, 2009

the Security Council continues to steadfastly ignore the growing caterpillar threat

The b-grade horror movie that is currently playing out across much of Liberia appears to be worsening. Today the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) announced that it's identified the caterpillars as "armyworms." The voracious beasts, numbering in the millions, have been eating everything in Liberia and have spread to over a hundred villages, spilling over into neighboring Guinea.

First of all, does this mean that the situation is now a threat to international peace and security, meaning that these caterpillars fall under the purview of the Security Council? Does this mean that the Security Council can use Chapter 7 to thwart the armyworm menace?

Second of all, are you listening Hollywood? Army Worms! Tell me this is not a low-budget disaster flick waiting to happen. It can even be based on a true story. I haven't seen Jeff Goldblum in any movies lately. I'm sure you can dig him up to play the bespeckled Cassandra who warned everyone that global warming would make this happen. Which reminds me...

Hammond could offer no reason for the Armyworms' abnormal behaviour, which will be verified by experts in the field in about 3-4 days. As to why the insects have reached such large numbers, he speculated it could be climate-related.

So when Tom Friedman says it's "global weirding" rather than "global warming," I think this is Example A. Apparently, warmer temperatures = more rampaging caterpillars. Better get used to it.

Moreover, warns FAO, it's about to get worse. Many of the armyworms have burrowed into the ground, unreachable by pesticides, and are cocooning before turning into moths. Each moth can fly a thousand miles and lay a thousand eggs. In short order, Army Worms shall spawn its own readymade sequels. Get ready for Army Worms II: Flight of the Moths! And, once the moths lay their eggs... Army Worms III: The Spawning!

Come on, Hollywood, where are you?

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