LINGERING LIKE A STALE FART
14. Chicago Bears
Chicago's new offense: "Throw the ball up to Devin Hester and hope he either catches it or draws an interference penalty." In other words, the Bears are using the same offense my buddy Geoff mastered in "Madden '96," only without the wrinkle of Kyle Orton running backward for 20 yards, scrambling around for eight seconds and heaving a Hail Mary downfield. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this fails.
It's sad, really. And to think, they were a blown 10-point lead at home to Tampa and 11 seconds in Atlanta away from being 10-4 right now and angling for a first-round bye. Sadly, I still think that, Erik Kramer '94 aside, Orton's having the best year for a Chicago quarterback since Jim McMahon. And before that you have to back to the game Walter Payton played at quarterback in '79 because we had no QB on the roster who was better. And before that, you have to go back to Sid Luckman. We're the team that started Vince Evans, drafted Cade McNown, traded for Kordell Stewart, and decided to pass on Joe Montana in the draft because we were content with Bob Avellini at quarterback. Bear down, Chicago Bears!!!