OJ gets anywhere from 9 to 33 years, depending on... no, I'm not even following this story. I was the only human being alive to ignore his murder trial, and I'm going to keep it up.
I do have to give a shoutout to the New York Daily News, who, as usual, keeps it classy with an excellent OJ pun in their headline. Good going, guys.
p.s. Note the clever wag on the comments page of that story who observed that "this will definitely hamper OJ's search for his wife's killer."