Looks like Detroit has finally decided to fire Matt Millen, which is good because I vaguely remember he was a good announcer before he somehow managed to make the Lions worse than they were before. Rejoice, ye Lions fans! You're also guaranteed not to have to suffer another defeat on Sunday. The Lions have a bye.
As for those who don't, my Week 4 picks are below.
TENNESSEE over Minnesota: Remember those "In Gus We Trust" t-shirts that Washington Redskins fans were wearing last century? Yeah, well...
Buffalo over ST. LOUIS: Marc Bulger has been benched in favor of Trent Green. The last time we saw Trent Green, he was suffering one of the most painful-looking concussions in NFL history while trying to throw a low-block on a Texans defensive lineman, and his career was supposed to be over. Throwing a concussion-prone, late-30s quarterback behind St. Louis's abysmal offensive line is like going to watch Saw IV. You know that horrible, gruesome things are going to happen, it's just a question of when and how. So why would you watch? Are you so sick as to derive pleasure from this sort of thing? This story reminds us just what happens when a player sustains too many concussions.
Denver over KANSAS CITY: Historically, it seems the home team always wins this game, but Kansas City has been so bad through three games that I just can't make the pick, not this time. Denver's offense is lighting it up and the Chiefs just got smoked by the Falcons, a week after spotting the lowly Raiders a 23-point lead in a game where JaMarcus Russell didn't even have to tap double-digits for completions. Just imagine what Jay Cutler will do to the Chiefs secondary.
NY JETS over Arizona: Gang Green needs this game more than Arizona does. As previously documented, the Cardinals could win their division with a sub-.500 record, but a loss here and the Jets are 1-3. Given the depth of talented teams in the AFC, that might knock them out of playoff contention. Meanwhile, Green Bay is still in the driver's seat in the NFC North. Can you imagine if Green Bay makes the playoffs and Brett Favre doesn't? Oh, speaking of Green Bay:
TAMPA BAY over Green Bay: Aaron Rodgers, meet Monte Kiffin. Brian Griese... I hate you. Why didn't you play like that in Chicago?! 407 yards passing?! the Bears have gone FULL SEASONS WITHOUT 407 YARDS PASSING. Grrr...
DALLAS over Washington: Well, Redskins fans, you were chanting "We Want Dallas" at the end of your 24-17 victory over Arizona. Now you've got them. And if I may say so, a 7-point home win over a Cardinals club with one playoff win since the Truman Administration is, well... I'll let this fan explain it. 'Boys, decisively.
Philadelphia over CHICAGO: My friend Josh asked me which team has the better defense. My answer is that Chicago does for the first three quarters, but someone should tell them that this isn't hockey, and the game is divided into four stanzas. The meltdown at home against the Bucs was way more unforgivable than the meltdown at Carolina. Chicago should be 3-0 right now. Instead, they're about to be 1-3. Because even though Chicago has the better defense, Philly's offense will give them the lead early on, and ugly is a Kyle Orton offense trying to rally from behind. I can imagine Bears fans booing lustily as another Forte run up the gut is called on 3rd and 11, following a sack. Playing Orton at quarterback is like driving a really, really old car. It'll work, yes, but don't ask it to do anything too difficult or it just might conk out on you.
PITTSBURGH over Baltimore: Ravens-Steelers games are always tough to call. Teams win that shouldn't. I could see the Ravens' fearsome defense feasting on Ben Roethlisberger, he of the possibly-separated shoulder, after the 8 sacks the Eagles ravaged on him last week. I can also see Pittsburgh's defense feasting on Joe Flacco. Can I see a Steelers team that looked this good in its first two games dropping this game at home? I can't.
Further picks: CAROLINA over Atlanta, JACKSONVILLE over Houston, Cleveland over CINCINNATI, NEW ORLEANS over San Francisco, and San Diego over OAKLAND.
Last week: 12-4
Season: 30-17 63.8%