Matthew Yglesias makes the case against turkey.
From my angle, the solution, obviously, is to stuff as many birds inside the turkey as possible. Turducken, perhaps? But no, that is so last decade. Even John Madden has rejected it. Think bigger. Three birds is insufficient, but seven ought to do it. Helloooo, Turgooduccochiqua. It sounds like a major Incan city, but it's actually a turkey stuffed with a goose stuffed with a duck stuffed with a... okay, beyond this, I can't remember how it works. There's a chicken and a quail in there too. You gotta read the article.
In case you're wondering, the record for this sort of thing, according to wikipedia, was set in France in the 19th century, and involved no less than 17 birds, several of which are now endangered.
Even though the French have the record, however, I feel that this is a quintessentially American solution to a quintessentially American problem. Bored with the flavor of your industrially produced giant meat? Spice it up with more kinds of meat. As many kinds of meat as possible, in fact.