Week 7 Picks

The spread:

sunday
steelers (-3) over DOLPHINS
FALCONS (-3.5) over bengals
jaguars (+9) over CHIEFS
TITANS (-3) over eagles
redskins (+3) over BEARS
SAINTS (-13) over browns
RAVENS (-13) over bills
49ers (-3) over PANTHERS
BUCS (-3) over rams
SEAHAWKS (-6.5) over cardinals
patriots (+3) over CHARGERS
BRONCOS (-8.5) over raiders
vikings (+2.5) over PACKERS

monday
COWBOYS (-3) over giants

Last week: 7-6-1
Season: 41-44-5

Week 6 picks

Well, I finally got over .500 for Week 5. Let's see if I can keep it going and get back to .500 for the season. You know, so that my guesses will be more accurate than actually guessing. Here's the spread again:

sunday
STEELERS (-13.5) over browns
saints (-4) over BUCCANEERS
chargers (-8) over RAMS
PACKERS (-3) over dolphins
falcons (+2.5) over EAGLES
PATRIOTS (-2.5) over ravens
chiefs (+4.5) over TEXANS
GIANTS (-10) over lions
BEARS (-7) over seahawks
raiders (+6.5) over NINERS
jets (-3) over BRONCOS
VIKINGS (-1.5) over cowboys
colts (-3) over REDSKINS

monday
titans (-3) over JAGUARS

Last week: 8-6
Season: 34-38-4

Week 5

The spread:

broncos (+7) over RAVENS
jags (pk) over BILLS
COLTS (-7) over chiefs
rams (+3) over LIONS
falcons (-3) over BROWNS
bucs (+6.5) over BENGALS
PANTHERS (-1) over bears
packers (-2.5) over REDSKINS
TEXANS (-3) over giants
saints (-6.5) over CARDS
RAIDERS (+6) over chargers
titans (+7) over COWBOYS
eagles (+3) over 49ERS

JETS (-4) over vikings

Last week: 7-7
Season: 26-32-4

Week 4 picks

Here's the spread.

Here's my picks:

sunday
TITANS (-6.5) over broncos
STEELERS (-1.5) over ravens
bengals (-3) over BROWNS
lions (+14.5) over PACKERS
SAINTS (-13.5) over panthers
FALCONS (-7) over 49ers
seahawks (-1) over RAMS
jets (-5.5) over BILLS
JAGUARS (+7) over colts
texans (-3) over RAIDERS
CHARGERS (-8.5) over cardinals
EAGLES (-6) over redskins
GIANTS (-4) over bears

monday
patriots (-1) over DOLPHINS

Last week: 7-9
Season: 19-25-4

Week 3 NFL picks

OK, so Week 2 was a total fiasco, let's see if I can get this under control for Week 3. Once again, against the spread. Home team in CAPS.

SUNDAY
titans (+3) over GIANTS
PATRIOTS (-14.5) over bills
RAVENS (-10.5) over browns
steelers (-2.5) over BUCCANEERS
bengals (-3) over PANTHERS
SAINTS (-3.5) over falcons
CHIEFS (-3) over 49ers
lions (+11) over VIKINGS
TEXANS (-2.5) over cowboys
redskins (-3.5) over RAMS
eagles (-2.5) over JAGUARS
colts (-5.5) over BRONCOS
chargers (-5.5) over SEAHAWKS
raiders (+4.5) over CARDINALS
DOLPHINS (-2) over jets

MONDAY
packers (-3) over BEARS

Last week: 5-9-2
Season: 12-16-4

the spread

I went 5-8-2 on Sunday. Horrible. Worse than guessing. I gotta right this ship before I start putting any money down. We'll start with New Orleans blowing out San Francisco tonight.

MUTANT FISH!!!!!

Not to be alarmist, but I'm a bit leery of this new genetic advancement on salmon that makes them grow twice as fast as normal salmon. To wit:

"There is virtually no possibility of escape and interaction with wild populations,” says Stotish.

That’s because the fish eggs will be sterile, and they will all be female. Plus, they'll be grown in tanks on land, rather than nets or pens, floating in the ocean, the way most conventional farmed fish is raised.

I hate to break it to these guys, but I'm pretty sure they relied on that trick in Jurassic Park and it didn't work then either. How long before mutant mega-salmon are roaming the earth, seeking revenge on their human creators? FDA, thou shalt reapeth what thy soweth.

As Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse memorably opined, "I don’t want to talk to a scientist, y’all mother fuckers lyin, and gettin me pissed."